07 August 2007

Watercress and Waterless - Thoughts for the Lost (Re-post)

This isn't any crazy artistic blog - instead just things I've done or am thinking about lately.

Saw CSS with Shout Out Out Out and Dirty on Purpose at Studio B on Friday. 'Twas fun, 'twas. Pics of Lovefoxx and the rest here:

http://www.letsbecomefamous.com/studiob/2007_08_03/

Saw the Bodies exhibit at South Street Seaport on Saturday. The first two rooms were a bit tough to get through. I had to sit and breathe and not look at anything a couple times, dry sweating and vision-impaired. Thankfully they had benches for the queazy. What was weird is that I was always very into anatomy and dissecting things in high school/college.
I guess this was just a bit too close to home? I couldn't stop thinking about meat. We're all just meat. We're flesh. Blood. Ashes to ashes. Food for cannibals. I kept thinking about cannibals and how they believe by consuming, they take a person's soul into themselves. I kept thinking how much human flesh when flayed open and exposed as the meat it is really does look like chicken. Ick. Talking about it right now is making my stomach turn.
After the first two rooms I was fine, and the following rooms were really amazing - circulatory system and babies and organs oh my. It really made me think twice about drinking, smoking, and even pollution. Seeing black lungs will do that to you.
There were garish things too: a giant thumb (think football-sized and then some), conjoined twins, embryos that looked like alien spawn, a cancerous penis, cancerous breasts. I could go on and on.
I got to hold a human brain, heart, and an unpreserved tibia.
One of the coolest things about going to Bodies was watching other living peoples' reactions to what they were seeing/learning about. Little kids were learning the birds and bees from their embarassed fathers (''Didn't think I'd have that conversation today!''). Teenagers lingered around the reproductive section.

That night, I went to see the movie Sunshine with some friends. This is the new Danny Boyle movie (the same guy who did Trainspotting and 28 Days Later). Though there were several holes in the plot, I found the movie very touching. It is a very dark look into a possible future for humanity, but there are moments that made my heart sing, such as when the Captain called everyone to the observation deck to unveil a beautiful, swirling, glowing Mercury in full panorama directly in front of the spaceship. I don't like spoilers, so I won't give too much away, but please go see this movie. It was very entertaining and worth the 12/13 bucks you have to dish out to see a movie in this city.

Mario Party 8 rocks. I always play with Dry Bones or Boo. I added the 'heckle' feature - which makes annoying your competition SO much easier hehe. The Nintendo Wii still amazes me, and I think it'll be a LONG time before I grow bored with it. Wii Fit looks awesome, and I can't wait for Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Brothers, and Wii Mario Kart.

Finally, I'd like to leave you all with a thought I had last night that swooped down into my consciousness from somewhere:

Make an isosceles triangle in your mind/consciousness out of your intention/(thought?)
Emotion/Gut Instinct/Intuition/Fight Mechanism is one leg of the triangle; Thought/Reason/Fear/Flight Mechanism the other leg.

What bisects the two makes a super-trajectory amplifying the intensity of your Higher Self's intention.

It's easier to hate than to love.

Choose love.

Corocet

ps - and because myspace sucks and won't read my codes right, no pics/vids for you guys. Sorry!



Currently listening : Dangerous Dreams By Moving Units Release date: 12 October, 2004

26 July 2007

Quiver in the River of Tears (Re-post)

thinking about you
too much in the waking world

no where for those thoughts to go
nowhere for those thoughts to go

turn to dreams to let it go
turn to dreams to let it out

sat down on the couch
with myself before myself

for my self i told myself
cry - wash it all away

so let it out
got to get it out

5 hours later
still sobbing ''youuuuuu''

2 teary hours later
it was my fault too

woke up clear
woke up right

bitten by a spider
in the middle of the night

i'll cry for you
in my dreams

i'll cry for you
in my dreams

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Currently listening : Cross By Justice Release date: 10 July, 2007

27 March 2007

Curry Chicken Salad Update (Re-post)

Dear Readers:

Tumultuous and bittersweet these last few months have been. Together, we've seen Brangelina's brat pack grow, Anna Nicole's death, Britney's transformation, and Paris is still... well Paris is still Paris. One of my favorite shows is over (HBO's ROME). Friends have come, friends have gone. There have been storms, there have been spills. Good dinners have been cooked, and lazy breakfasts have been had. There have been fist fights, puking, buttsex, records, silly voices, and a lot of laughter. Rather than focus on the negative, I will focus on the positive. I'm trying to "change my luck" as it were. Rather than focus on the confusion and the longing and the pain, I'd rather look to the stars and look to the future, which offers much hope - brighter days, and sexier nights.

The Nintendo Wii is an amazing piece of technology. The best thing about it is the ability you have to create Miis (little characters) that look like you, your ex, your ugly sister, or your dickhead boss. My boss is a South African Orchid so make your own damn Mii. I created one to look like a panda, a bald Britney, a meth-addicted child molester, a personification of my penis, and a Japanese whiz kid. This is just the beginning. The Miis can be used to PLAY games on the Wii. Britney is an amazing tennis player as well as an above-par bowler, and the Okidoki is pretty good at golf.

Still waiting for the raise at work, but some day my prince will come. I will now be helping on the Sunglass Hut account as well as a new luxury retail brand offshoot the SGH is launching called ILORI (doesn't it just sound so sexy you could fuck it? don't you just wanna run out and buy prada shades RIGHT now? Yeah, I thought so {eye roll}).

Nick and I had our 1-year panda-versary (!!!) in February. Not much more to say about that. No idea where we're going. Playing it by ear.

One of my best friends realized she's a lesbian (5 years after the rest of the world hehe).

I can't stop listening to The Knife, !!!, the new Arcade Fire, and yes- still happily playing the shit out of both Goldfrapp and CSS (I'm in lurve with Lovefoxx). And Morrissey has been rearing his chronically depressed head around my corners a bit regularly as of late too.

I miss dancing. At the disco. I will be dancing this Friday. At Studio B. It works. And YOU bettah work, bitch. Diplo is playing (producer of MIA's first album). It's gonna be awesome, and I'm reppin' with a crew of like 20 who hail from Europe, to Long Island, to Beer City Wisconsin, and everything in between. Again - try to make it - it's only $12 and SURE to be an amazing time.

I miss DJing. Help me make this happen, people. I'll give you Gummi Baerchen and snuggles if you get me a gig. I'll work for it, you better believe it. Demos available upon request.

April 7th Patrick Wolf is playing at MisShapes, but SHHHH I don't wanna be waiting in line for days to hear this dandy sing and prance all over the place. I want him all to myself, and maybe a few select peeps (you, dear readers).

My 27th birthday is June 5th. I think I like the sound of Twenty-seven. It has a roundness and OMishness to it. I want to meditate more as a twenty-seven-year-old about being a twenty-seven-year-old.

I visited a psychologist last week for the first time. He called me a complex case. After chatting for an hour, he became increasingly speechless, and could barely utter the assessment that I was "unlike the garden variety" nutjobs he normally works with, after I relayed the moment almost 4 years ago in Amsterdam that changed my life forever. His fumbling made me feel very proud.

Spring has sprung, and I'm like a cat in heat. I wanna spread my scent on every lamppost and scratch my face against trees in the park. I wanna have a love-in and a hate-out. I wanna fly like an eagle. To the sea. Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me.

As Michelle, the world's biggest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan EVER, says - FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

I am in love.

xoxo,

Corocet Rumspringa Hangovah



Currently playing : Warioware: Smooth Moves Release date: 15 January, 2007

04 February 2007

Corocet Travertine Seagull (Re-post)

A lone seagull drifted by just below the cloudline on this crisp cool day. It reminded me of the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which I loved when I was a child. Feeling somewhat stuck lately - a case of the Winter doldrums - the bird reminded me that we are all creatures of the universe. We can fly, and we are not bound by chains to our jobs or our routines. His lazy flight above warmed me and comforted my mind with the knowledge that we are all simply waveforms and particles and expressions of God's beautiful dream. Compete, laze, laugh, plummet, flap, soar, caw. Love.

Currently reading : The Holographic Universe By Michael Talbot Release date: 06 May, 1992

15 December 2006

matt is the most boring yet most enticing (Re-post)

i fell asleep on the train for the first time tonight.
office xmas party resulting in karaoke downtown and yet another near fist fight.
loving matthew has shown me that i can be a fighter but i really just want hugs and cuddles.


i need teddy bear paws and loves.


espionage reaches out to me once more, and for the first time in my life i'm able to own up to my feelings and simultaneously purge the negative from my sphere.
i am in love with shapes and colors. sounds and smells.
maybe muscle.

i am not so much a tactile person; i like texting.
my phone is gone - but it's not just a phone, ''it's a treo''.
gay gay bashing.

i love working in advertising.
we don't just sell people what they didn't know they might have wanted. we wonder what it feels like for a girl.

i don't think i've ever been so satisfied with my life.
i don't think i've ever been so hungry for what i had but threw away. continents and foreskins separate the memories.

i am in love with a man i might (n)ever have. i wish he would just reach out to me instead of making me pine and wait and know and pine and love and cry and wish and dream of him and wake up hard. i wish his face was on my dick again.

honesty i've found is the best and worst medicine. it is also the deadliest and most effective weapon. knives are my favorite. swords work too.

shivering is an expectation of the next moments, and sighs are a disappointed farewell. in turn, breathing is simply a prolongation of life.

matter matters nothing.

who we are is all we are.

and we all know who we are.

i am in love

Currently listening : Unrest By Erlend Oye Release date: 11 February, 2003

23 November 2006

Thankful Living (Re-post)

My dad just told me not to do "gay shit" on this computer, with a tone that said "test me."

I thought I would be so happy to get away from the city, have some time off work, and get away from a recent breakup. I guess in a way I AM thankful today: thankful I made the choices I have made to get to where I am; that I moved to New York despite my fears and concerns of all the people who swore I was making a huge mistake.

Seeing a small handfull of friends back here in the Midwest has been great, and somehow I have for the most part seen/hung out with everyone I wanted to. My oldest and best friends have shown me that you can still be close with people even though you don't get to talk much. And that you can always pick up where you left off. They have also shown me that I am still the same old guy but just grown up a bit. And apparently that my attitude has grown a bit more abrasive. They have shown me that I'm not a bad person or a loser or any of the things that people who are just trying to hurt/use/manipulate/control me might say. I'm still the funny kid who wore 40-inch-bottom-pants, I'm still the one who took your virginity, I'm still the one who you drove around with bored out of your mind.

The last year-and-a-half in NYC has made me see myself in a more realistic and forgiving new light. I have a much better sense of how strong and fiercely independent I am. How insanely competitive and stubborn I am. I see how strongly I want a loving, lasting, healthy ("issue" and drama-free) relationship. I see how simple I am and can be. It surprises me how easy to please I am. How sensitive and caring I am. I see how easily hurt I am, and how impatient I am to find acceptance and love. I see how much I obsess. My embarassments line up right next to my achievements.

I am thankful for my family; I did miss them, and I do love them dearly, but I am glad to have gotten away from their constant pointless bickering, elevated speaking voices, strained nagging, and side-mouthed judgements. After settling on the east coast, the good-old-fashioned Midwestern ignorance I numbed to earlier now shocks the shit out of me. The fashion is a whole other topic for discussion which I won't bother touching other than to say in Indiana, fat is the new black.

The past few days have shown me how deeply emotional of a person I am. My emotions surrounding guys and past relationships are so complex and crippling, deep down I know I'm not ready to give it another go because I am still hurting so much after all these years, loves, faces, cocks. It's just so fucked up, and it makes me want to tear my eyes out, but I realize how impossible it is for me to let go of the past. Dually, I am immensely frustrated by the fact that though I realize how much my life has taken a more responsible, positive shape in the last year, I still feel the need for reassurance and validation - either from guys, or from work, strangers, or all of the above. I still feel so lost!!! But ultimately, I guess I've been standing solid on the feeling that I can do anything I want, go anywhere I want, and live any way I want. Life is too short to be always thinking about how others will perceive you/your actions. The last year has shown me that despite the growing pains and heartbreaks and scares, I still come out ME, and a stronger person with a better sense of who they are and where they are going.

Upon my return, I hope to keep things going with my job, get the promotion, and be open to new opportunities. I want to focus on all things social and domestic - my home and my friends, and getting more involved with activities I love like DJing/producing, German, cooking, writing. I've been in New York long enough now to know you don't get anywhere by staying in your apartment feeling sorry for yourself. It's not a raging pity party at my place, but there's definitely a rut-like trend I see after looking at three failed NYC "relationships", and just the general state of affairs in which I currently find myself. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm on the cusp of something big. I've been in limbo for a while now... things are gaining momentum but they just need some time.

I want to go home and start giving myself the love I've been looking everywhere for except in my own heart. It's so cheesy and cliche, I know... but it's true. I need to have a memorial for the idealized figures of my past, say a prayer for the future, and start living my life in a way that every day I wake up and am thankful for another shot to try it all over again.

Matthew, Andy, Victor, Matt, Chris, Tom, Jared, Art, and Nick - Thank you. This is for you.

01 October 2006

The Turnaround (Re-post)

The five of them entered the restaurant loudly, like usual, and moved like traffic towards the bar.
Joshua could get a clear view of them from where he was posted.
Within moments, they all had martinis or highballs and were toasting for someone's 27th birthday. It was the girl in the long gold dress.
"That dress probably cost more than my car," he thought to himself.
He had seen them so many times, but never this closely. And he never felt the jealousy he now felt so accutely. In his heart, perhaps he just wanted to be like them. But reality made him daily aware of the fact that he would never sit among their ranks.
Or could he?
He wondered what it would take to be friends with them. How closely knit they were...
Could he simply befriend one and the others would sheepishly follow, or would he have to get to know each of them, and flatter them, and surprise them, and impress them most of all?
Thomas spoke up.
"Class is what distinguishes us from the vagabond on the street. If I see someone at a club and I notice an Hermes tie or maybe he's in a Gucci tuxedo at an opening - whichever - I know this man is not under me."
The others nodded.
Joshua knew it would be easier than expected.
His dad's restaurant was making less and less. Josh had nothing to lose. He had no status. He had no dignity. He had no wealth.
Even though they were but five people, they could be considered a staple to any small business trying to break even and establish themselves in one of the most cutthroat restaurant markets in the world.
But beyond the restaurant, and his father's sinking debt, Josh knew that these five were the ticket out. With his father's fading health along with his dwindling resources, Josh was forced to face the tough facts - and that meant coming up with a plan that would not only secure the family some stability, but which would propel him literally out of a blue collar, and into a set of Prada loafers.

Currently listening : Black Holes and Revelations By Muse Release date: 11 July, 2006

22 September 2006

It's About Fucking Time, CDC! (Re-post)

So, apparently American health care is starting to take its head out of its own ass. The Centers for Disease Control issued a statement this week saying they believe all Americans ages 13-65 should be getting mandatory but voluntary regular routine HIV/AIDS tests.


Not only does this just "make sense", it will serve to de-stigmatize those living with HIV/AIDS, and give people who previously were too scared or ashamed to get tested the extra push they might have needed.


Of course many ignorant people have their arms raised in protest, but in all honesty, who cares? For too long AIDS has been considered a "gay" disease, and even though it is still more FREQUENT in gay males, this whole country is at risk.
Most importantly, we have the opportunity and the obligation to set the example for the rest of the world.


Stepping off soapbox now.


Read the article:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/09/21/cdc.test.ap/index.html

Currently listening : Sessions By Mark Farina Release date: 18 July, 2006

28 August 2006

Time Out - London Sun Herald (Re-post)

This article is not only cool because the ad agency I work for gets mentioned often (JWT), but more so because it is an example that we as a society are ready to start talking about the ugly subject of how our work lives are inhibiting or even hurting our "other" lives, and the bigger analysis - What is valuable? What is the value of time?

The article is tiptoeing around the heart of the issue a bit, but if you read between the lines, especially the parts with Geoff Small, founder of "Slow" - a new venture to help people streamline their lives in accordance with their hearts' callings - you can see that people with a lot of power and money are beginning to say "What the hell am I doing?!? My job doesn't MEAN anything in the larger scheme of things!" and as a result, these same people are starting up their own journeys as entrepreneurs or teachers.

I also find the article cool because it fleshes out the human side to the animalistic beast we all think of when thinking of corporations and advertising in specific; it shows that advertising isn't just giving people something to chew on in order to sell a product or service they didn't know they wanted or needed... that ads can be something people WANT to spend time with.

Exciting stuff if you ask me.

Enjoy!

Time Out

, Sun Herald (London), by Alex May, August 27, 2006

Society

We put off happiness, neglect our families and pay a dog-walker - all so we can spend more time at the office in pursuit of a better life. Time has become so precious that advertisers are now trying to sell it to us.

John Churchill used to thrive on chaotic busy-ness, where a slow week meant working 70 hours. The result was that he was made partner in a law firm before he reached the age of 30. But it took its toll on his family life: for the first nine months of his daughter's life, he confesses, he only ever saw her asleep.

"Large organisations are prisons where the walls are built of money," says the former chairman of PricewaterhouseCoopers Legal. "People make trade-offs they will just do it for a while but it's hard to break out of."

Churchill gave up his fancy Sydney office in 2001, when "it just wasn't fun any more". "Now our family has a hobby," says the father of three. "We collect memories." He no longer talks about his career - his business card bears his name only; no job title - but he works pro bono, acts as a mentor and directs several company boards. "Every night, our family sits down for dinner and we take the phone off the hook," he says. "Sometimes dinner takes half an hour; sometimes it takes three hours."

Last year, after conducting polls throughout Europe, America and Australia, advertising agency JWT declared that time was the new currency. "People aren't sitting around trying to figure out what to spend their money on," spouts their research. "They're frantic deciding what to spend their time with." Nowadays, says the agency, the most powerful thing a marketer can offer any customer is the opportunity to save a minute or two.

"People rate time ahead of money," explains Craig Davis, JWT's chief creative officer, citing his company's finding that 88 per cent of Australians were happy to pay more money for any brand they identified as a "time-saver".

Davis

says it's not just lack of time that's stressing us out - it's the myriad choices we are offered. Should I buy a plasma TV or go on a holiday? Have children now or wait until after a master's degree? "When there is a lot of choice, there is pressure because every choice you make has an inverse cost in lost opportunity," says Davis. "If you sit and read the newspaper, that means you miss out on kicking a ball with your kids."

Advertisers have cottoned on to this by selling us the seductive illusion that we can buy not just status or sex appeal but time. Virgin Blue billboards promise more "you time" thanks to web check-in services. And Berocca's manufacturer declares we can "get more out of every day" as it shows us two girls popping a fizzy vitamin tablet and crossing four time zones in just one weekend.

Retail expert Anton van den Berg, who works for consumer research giant ACNielsen, points out that even with a declining birthrate, disposable nappies have increased in sales and breath-freshener strips that make it possible to sweeten your mouth without stopping, chewing or gargling are now a $10 million segment of the market. "Three years ago, that market didn't exist."

Now that marketers battle for a share of our time rather than plain old vanilla market share, could visions of relaxation and time to spare replace the seductive images of sex and status that advertising has relied on to flog us products? "I don't know if time will ever be as powerful as sex at selling things," Davis says. Although he does wonder whether even sex has become a victim of time poverty. "I bet it has gone the way of cooking. What used to be a slow-cooked meal is now a zap in the microwave."

Former corporate high-flyer Geoff Small - who has worked in retail, banking and advertising - says there is a good reason the advertising industry wants us to treat time as a precious, dwindling commodity: "People feel they need to entertain themselves all the time so they consume more than people who are taking life easy."

Small admits he used to be "addicted to speed", running companies that ate giant chunks of his time and sent him on crazy missions such as flying to Munich for the day. Even in his time off, "my to-do list used to read like 15 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica," he says.

Social researcher Clive Hamilton agrees. "Even our leisure activities have been commodified," says the economist and executive director of the Australia Institute. "All the 'take a break - you deserve it' ads, with men and women walking along a beach with their cuffs rolled up. The powerful message is that you have to engage in expensive activities, then go back to your hectic life just to pay for a snatch of leisure time. It's absurd. Why not take it easy in the first place?"

As British marketing consultant Simon Gulliford points out, "Work used to be a place you went but now it's what happens when you open your eyes in the morning and look at your mobile phone. It's why people like me find it makes business sense to actually hire a driver so that I can work while I am stuck in traffic."

He says the on-hold messages, time-robbing bank forms, queues and inadequate public transport are the reason the iPod music player is so successful: "It turned time-robbing activities such as queuing up or catching trains into an opportunity. People feel in control of their lives when they are listening to their iPod."

For many people, the only way to feel less time-poor is to "downshift", by giving up a busy job or moving out of the city. "We have studied downshifters in detail and discovered that it's not just a matter of rearranging your time or earning less money," says Hamilton. "Downshifting is all about reclaiming time so that you aren't beset with obligations. The big obstacle people face is giving up the status that your job and money gave you."

Small concurs. "I think downshifting is a bad word because you 'up-shift' your quality of life when you do it," he says. Now working as a life educator, Small runs a program called Slow to teach people how to "find new meaning in just being who they are rather than what's on their business card".

Fabian Dattner, author and partner in Melbourne-based training company Dattner Grant, says Australians have never been richer nor more unhappy. (Australia Institute research has found that 30 per cent of full-time workers know they neglect their families but think it will be worth it in the end when they have more money; this is called "deferred happiness syndrome", with high- and middle-income households more likely to suffer from it than low-income earners.) "Life is not a ride to get off; it's a mind-set. Lift your head from the feed bin and if life is too complicated, start to say no," she says.

Small suggests throwing your wristwatch away and stop using the clock to dictate what you should be doing. "I also get people to draw up a list of all the things they want to achieve in your life - then focus on only one of them. Most people have 37 things they want to achieve, and that's impossible. One or two goals? That's possible."

Dr Adam Fraser, a Sydney-based workplace trainer, says slowing down is good in theory but incredibly difficult to achieve. "Because we are time-poor, we tend to give up the things we enjoy to get more time for work and family," he says. "But if you add something that gives you a sense of enjoyment - a musical instrument, charity work, whatever - that will juice you up and give you more energy."

Hamilton scoffs at the traditional business and workplace approach to time management. "All those tips to manage your life tell you to pay someone else to do your boring household tasks. That just shifts the pressure on to some other poor bugger," he says. "Paying people to walk your dog seems utterly pointless to me. Surely you get a dog so you can spend time with it."

Dattner says she is staggered by the number of people she sees walking dogs while talking on their mobile phones. "Dogs never fail to greet you with unbridled love," she continues. "This is a gift on your plate. Some people talk on the phone through their best moments."

MINUTE MANAGER

She writes books. She is a university administrator. She teaches evening classes. She has two children. She spends three hours a day cooking, cleaning and washing. She does voluntary work. She meditates. She paints. She is studying for a phD. She swims three times a week.

Meet Jennifer Brassel. She's busy but doesn't feel pressured. "Like everyone, I do get stressed from time to time. But I have an approach that works," says the author of romance novels such as Honour Bound.

The 48-year-old, who lives in Sydney, writes a daily to-do list after her morning meditation. "I get a sense of achievement if I have more than half the list scratched off by the end of the day; a completely done list makes me feel like I am in control of my life," Brassel says. But she is unfazed when she doesn't achieve all she sets out to do. "I don't feel guilty if I take a day off and sit on the couch. I allow myself to recharge."

Brassel says rather than think of the tasks she undertakes as a chore, she sees them as an opportunity to do something exciting and different. "I enjoy cooking. It's like a creative outlet for me and then I get to sit with my family and spend time with them," she says. "There is only one thing that I pay someone else to do because it doesn't help me relax and it's dull: ironing."

***************



Currently listening : So This Is Goodbye By Junior Boys Release date: 17 August, 2006