29 December 2008

there goes the neighborhood

http://www.nypost.com/news/nypdblotter/nypdblotter.htm

NYPD DAILY BLOTTER
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By JAMIE SCHRAM

Last updated: 2:45 am
December 29, 2008
Posted: 2:06 am
December 29, 2008

Manhattan

A shoplifter got more than he bargained for when he was arrested for trying to swipe cigarettes with a razor in an Alphabet City bodega, cops said yesterday.

Albert Felicia, 41, of Brooklyn, asked a 48-year-old clerk for "loose cigarettes" in the deli on Avenue D and East Seventh Street at 8:50 p.m. on Christmas Day, cops said.

When the worker said he had none, Felicia jumped over the counter and took a razor out of his mouth, but pummeled the clerk instead of slashing him, cops said.

The clerk allegedly fought back, pushing Felicia out of the store and calling 911.

Police quickly arrived and arrested Felicia, who was charged with menacing, weapon possession and attempted robbery.

17 December 2008

Hilarious Craigslist M4M Missed Connection

Oh Craigslist how I love you when I am blue:

Anderson Cooper!!! - m4m - 29 (Chelsea)

Reply to: pers-960560217@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-16, 5:04PM EST

Anderson! You were reporting the news on FRIDAY NIGHT. I was at home, slender, relaxed, and confident. I was looking at you through the television scream(screen) and I thought you were checking me out on your end too! I know your broadcast goes into millions of homes but I know that Friday night you were broadcasting directly to me. And hey, I'm picking up what you're putting down stud. Anyways, I was not sure until right before the commercial break that you were definitely cruising me. And then, it happened! You said; "we'll be right back" and you looked down at your desk, and I thought, if he's interested, he'll look up at me one more time before they cut to commercial. And that's when it happened!! They cut to commercial without you looking up. But I told myself, if he is looking directly at the camera with a certain intensity (almost a squint) when they come back from commercials, he'll definitely be checking me out! And you were!! Aaaaagghh!! Like freaking magic man!! I adore flattery and you are sooooo handsome. But more than coy glances I appreciate directness. And if you read this. No, when you read this, yes, I'll have ONE drink with you. And no, you're not gonna get me all liquored up and have your way with me on the first date sneaky anchor man! And when I move in I hold the remote control!! And NO CNN!! That's for work! When you come home I need your attention to be on us! And no constant work chatter either, PLEASE!! I will already know everything you're gonna say from watching you on the news. So our dinner discussions will have to be limited to what I did that day at the petstore I work at. Or we can talk about the gym because that is neutral grounds. Or we can talk about night clubs and/or saunas. Or Beyonce. Because she is fierce! Or Tyra because she is fierce! Or Heidi because she is fierce!